Mr. Boston Rum

CockTale: Mr. Boston Virgin Islands Rum came to us bootlegged from the great State of Idaho. Mr. Boston is not currently available in the State of Washington, or maybe I should say he isn't "allowed" into the State of Washington. Mr. Boston hits me as a perplexing character in our family of rums as I'm not sure how he is supposed to be portrayed. He looks like the guy on the Monopoly box, if he used all his money to go down to the Virgin Islands and buy some rum plantation. So I guess in the family of rums, he is your absurdly rich uncle who bought a plantation and now makes rum, but for some mysterious reason he isn't allowed to come visit, ever. I had the pleasure of drinking Mr. Boston rum during a lively game of dice called 10,000. I thought it was based on points, but it is actually the number of shots some people take while playing the game. I was enjoying my Pearl Cucumber vodka for the night and instead of just taking shots of that, I decided it would be a good idea to shoot Mr. Boston with diet coke chasers. I didn't exactly win the game of dice, but ended up better than the game's proprietor who ended up face down in the grass of the backyard. I don't know what happened in my life that shaped this behavior, but whenever I see someone passed out in the grass I have this inherent desire to urinate on them. Lucky for the proprietor of the game, he was too far out of my range to be urinated on off the back deck. This story comes from the archives of my story book entitled "yes, I am over 30 years old".

Review:
Taste: Mr. Boston has a very light flavor, would probably make a great rum and diet, though I don't know. Not much rum burn going down, but you can definitely tell you are sampling bottom shelf rum. "2.8"
Hangover Factor: Considering that I mixed cucumber vodka with shots of Mr. Boston, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself not hating life the next morning. Since Mr. Boston is a very light rum, I think that lessens the side effects. "3.2"
Novelty: Other than the fact that this rum was bootlegged from Idaho and Mr. Boston looks like the Monopoly guy with crazy 1800's sideburns, I can't say that it gets a lot of oohs and aaahs from the gallery but it was a novelty to see a rum I have never heard of before. "3.5"
Price: I am unable to confirm this, but rumor has it that a half gallon of Mr. Boston in Idaho is under $15. Since that price skews the entire basis of the CockTales and Reviews ratings system, unfortunately I have to register it as incomplete as it would be an off the charts 5 if I were able to rate it.
Drunk: Lets call the drunk "bad choices drunk". Mr. Boston encourages you to make bad choices, like drinking Mr. Boston for one. "2.5"

My night with Mr. Boston was memorable to say the least. Maybe the next time I am visiting Idaho I will have to do my best Dukes of Hazard impression and bootleg some of Mr. Boston's fine rum across State lines. Overall score - 3

El Jimador Tequila

CockTale: Did you know El Jimador is the number one selling brand of tequila in Mexico? Neither did I, so when I was choosing a new tequila to try out, I figured 110 million Mexicans couldn't be wrong. I also figured that El Jimador meant something cool, like when I tried out Lunazul tequila - but boy was I wrong. El Jimadors are the people who went out and harvested the agave plants to make tequila, boring. But don't let that get you down, El Jimador was very good. In fact, I spent three nights in a row making margaritas. Best margarita recipe in the world - 1 shot tequila, 1 shot triple sec and 1 shot Rose's sweetened lime juice. Mix all three together and pour over ice. Very low in calories and only takes seconds to mix up. Trust me on this one, I write a blog about cocktails for a living.....

Review:
Taste: This is nice tequila, no nasty after taste, mixes well for margaritas and shoots alright as well with a little lime chaser. Nothing special about it other than it being a very solid tequila - "3"
Price: $19.99 for a fifth. At this price you are right in line with the upper shelf decent brands of tequila like Cuervo, but by no means is it a cheap tequila. If El Jimador was a dollar more than Cuervo, I can't say it is really worth it. The price is a couple dollars higher than Lunazul, and it definitely isn't better than that. "2.5"
Drunk: Since I spent three nights in a row with El Jimador, I would say the drunk is "satisfying". Something you can drink night after night has its appeal and I am rarely like that with tequila or margaritas. "3.5"
Novelty: After you get past the name not meaning anything and that it is the number one selling brand of tequila in Mexico, there isn't really that much that is special about the bottle or the tequila. It is just a decent bottle of tequila. "2"
Hangover Factor: This was a pleasant surprise, very little effects on the morning(s) after drinking El Jimador. When you think about it, the original El Jimadors had to wake up every morning and go out and harvest agave, so they couldn't be too hung over from their product. "4"

The CockTales & Reviews rating scale is based on 1-5, it seems that a score of 2.5 should be average, right in the middle - but that would also equate to scoring a 50% on a test. That doesn't quite seem fair? For the purposes of my ratings system, lets say a decent score is 3.0 - and that is exactly where El Jimador comes in, overall - "3"

181 Merlot Wine

CockTale: I'm not a big fan of wine, I honestly have never opened a bottle of wine by myself. I'm that guy in the wine aisle at the grocery store that wrote the name of the wine my wife asked me to buy, then I have to navigate through the different sections because I have no clue whether it was a Merlot, Cabernet or white. I wouldn't know the first thing about selecting a bottle, so there was a large debate within the CockTales & Reviews staff about whether or not to even include wine in the reviews. But the main point of CockTales & Reviews was to stray from the monotony of my usual cocktail selections, so wine makes the cut on a limited basis. After my wife's birthday dinner at Pomegranate, and if you have never eaten there - run, don't walk to it right away, we stopped by the store to pick up a bottle of 181 Merlot. Mainly this was selected because it was a $20 bottle of wine on sale for $9.99. I strayed from my regular rum and coke and two glasses into 181 Merlot my body started to experience a far different sort of drunk than it regularly does.

Review:
Taste: A little on the sweet side, some of that peppery burn on your tongue that red wine puts off but not as dry as I am used to. Based on my limited experience with wines, I would say it was above average for those that I have tried. - "3.5"
Drunk: Warm, touchy, tingly - body drunk is how I would call it. Very nice. - "4"
Hangover Factor: Dry mouth was a large factor, unquenchable thirst. - "2"
Price: I only paid $9.99, but it is regularly $20.00. At $9.99 it is a decent deal, I can't imagine paying $20 for a bottle of wine. I'm more in the $6-$7 dollar region, so low marks here - "2"
Novelty: If you were to bring this bottle to a party, I think that would probably go over well if the people there knew that this was an above average bottle. "3.5"

I enjoyed wine night, not sure it is going to be a frequent event at our house but fun to mix it up from time to time. Overall, 181 Merlot grades out at a "3"