Trader Joes Champagne

Its a celebration bitches! Or at least that is what I told my wife when I arrived at home after purchasing a fine champagne from Trader Joes, called "Trader Joes Champagne" and announced my idea for this blog.

I will be chronicling different experiences in drinking or "CockTales" along with my reviews of different forms of alcohol that are off the beaten path from my usual selections (Bud Light/Ron Rio Rum).

My alcohol rating system will be based on 5 key factors, on a scale of 1 - 5. 1 being garbage, 5 being perfection.

1. Taste: does it taste good or does it taste like rubbing alcohol?
2. Price: not just is it reasonably priced but does the quality and volume match the pricetag?
3. Novelty: is this drink special, would I bring it to a party or tell my friends about it?
4. Hangover Factor: how bad is the hangover?
5. Drunk: happy drunk, sleepy drunk, fun drunk, sexy time drunk?
Warning, CockTales and Reviews is a freeflowing narative that sometimes touches on mature subjects.

CockTale:
Fine, it is actually called sparkling wine and if you are that big of a champagne snob then go someplace else and stop reading this because it isn't for you. I decided to kick off this blog with champagne because it is 180 degrees away from my normal drinking habits and brings a festive atmosphere to this debut. Upon arriving at home I quickly donned my bathrobe and summoned my inner Hugh Heffner while I picked out the right gobblets to drink my champagne from. A champagne flute didn't see appropriate, so I opted for the glass gobblet. I had to get my wife to open the bottle of champagne as I don't know how and quickly poured myself a large gobblet of foam. Quick note, pour champagne sideways and slowly as you would a beer or else you end up with a glass of foam. The bottle went fast and I had to dispatch the wife to the store to pick up reinforcements to continue the merriment.

Review:
Taste: I found the champagne to be a little dry, but much better flavor than those I tried in the past. I wouldn't recommend mixing it with juice or anything like that, just drink it straight.  "3"

Price: The $9.99 price tag seemed decent to me at the time, but when my wife brought home a bottle of Cooks champagne for less than 4 bucks, I had to adjust that thinking. Plus, the one bottle went pretty fast, we needed reinforcements pretty quickly. "1.5"

Novelty: Other than being able to call it Trader Joes Champagne, there isn't really much novelty to this. I doubt I would give this as a gift, or not feel like a dork bringing it to someone's house for a party. Though, my Mother in law did serve it with Christmas Eve dinner....  "1"

Hangover Factor: Yeah, had a pretty nice headache which is pretty common for champagne. Around glass #5 I started to feel the headache coming, but kept on going. Wasn't hurting too bad in the morning though. "3"

Drunk: Talk about a happy drunk, this champagne provided a nice spark to my Wednesday night and put me in a celebratory mood, very enjoyable. "4"

Overall Trader Joes Champagne ends up with a rating of "2.5" which seems appropriate.