Avery Brewing Company

CockTale: There was a local beer festival by our house over Father's Day weekend, but we were out of town and didn't get to attend. So the following weekend when I had nothing better to do on a Saturday, I drove down to Whole Foods in search of new beers to try and create my own at home beer festival. I've had my eyes on the Avery brewing company for quite some time because that is my son's name, and they make an "Ellie's Brown Ale" which is my daughter's name - and this is too big of a coincidence to let pass without trying the beer. This also spawned my new idea of the CockTales & Reviews Summer Home Beer Festival Series where I will partake in new samplings of beer from one brewing company. I typically like to create my own mix six pack when trying new beers because who wants six beers that don't taste good? Who only wants to try one flavor of beer when a brewing company has three different options? There is great skill and difficulty when creating your own mix six pack at a store and I'll share my secret here. If the beer bottles look the same (same bottle top, same color, etc) then you are fine. If not, then self check out is the only way to go. Every once in a while, some checker at the store will narc you out and make you put the mix six pack back, or you just have to play dumb like I did once with a mix six of Mikes Hard Lemonade. "Oooh, I couldn't tell that one bottle was purple, two were green, one was yellow and two were red, I'm sorry - do you want me to put them back, I don't mind keeping them though....". Anyways, the Summer Home Beer Festival Series starts with Avery Brewing Company - starring

ELLIE'S BROWN ALE                         INDIA PALE ALE (IPA)                       WHITE RASCAL

Review:

Taste: Ellie's Brown Ale is a very light and almost refreshing chocolate brown ale, to match the chocolate brown lab on the bottle. I typically find brown ale's to be heavy and filling, but Ellie's was very good and I wouldn't mind having a whole six pack of it alone - "3.8".

Avery Brewing's IPA is one of the best IPAs I have ever had. I usually steer away from them because I don't enjoy the bitter after taste, but Avery's IPA is very smooth and has a good after taste. - "4.5"

White Rascal tastes like the ass of whatever that white beast is on the bottle. I tried this one last and was already a little dunk from the previous samplings and this little white rascal kept starring at me with his creepy face and red horns. Like most Belgian ales, in my opinion, White Rascal tastes like butt hole. Sorry, that isn't very helpful - just stay away from it and keep it out of your mix six pack. - "1"

Overall taste score (average of the three) = "3.1"

Novelty: It seems like you can find Avery Brewing Company beers at more places these days, I have only seen them at Whole Foods and specialty beer stores, but I think Avery gets some extra credit at C&R because of the naming. I walk around a party drinking a beer with two of my kids names on it is kinda neat. "4"

Price: $8.99 for a six pack, about average for what you are going to pay for a beer that you can't find on every shelf. I found this to be pretty reasonable "3"

Drunk: Robust - all of Avery's beers have pretty high alcohol content and will knock your socks off if you make a night of it. I had to switch to some regular old Bud Light after the sampling was over just to retain my composure. "4"

Hangover Factor: Ouch, one thing I need to remember during the Summer Home Beer Festival Series is to mix in some water in between beers. When you are used to pounding 8-10 Bud Lights and then you make that 8-10 dark and flavorful beers you will notice the difference in the morning for sure. "2.5"

Overall score for Avery Brewing Company = "3.3"

Jeremiah Weed Roadhouse Tea

CockTale: Was wandering through the beer aisle at the grocery store Friday night after work and was pretty thirsty, which usually means that I will opt for something away from beer and this is usually when I experiment with something a little more tasty. After being bombarded by their marketing campaign I figured it was time to give Jeremiah Weed a try. Alcohol infused iced tea sounded delicious, little did I know what lurked beneath the lid of the can.

Review:
Taste: Roadhouse Tea sounded fantastic, I was thirsty and an alcohol infused iced tea sounded like a great way to quench my thirst....I was wrong. At first it tastes like iced tea, but then this funny taste impedes your enjoyment. I couldn't figure it out until halfway through the can, it was cough syrup. Jeremiah Weed Roadhouse Tea tastes like an iced tea flavor of f'ing cough syrup. The aftertaste is even worse. Three quarters of the way through the can I couldn't even look at it anymore, I had to plug my nose just to get it down. Overall score - "1", only because giving it a zero would destroy the foundation for the CockTales & Reviews rating system.
Novelty: The tall boy can is cool, the name is pretty cool. Putting on my camo t-shirt and sitting in the backyard pounding some of these white trash style seems like a cool novelty, then you open the can and regret it, but the idea is cool. - "3"

Price: $2.79 per can seemed a little high when I grabbed it and that was the on sale price. Take down 6 of these puppies and you just spent quite a bit of money, way too high. - "1.5"

Hangover Factor:  I could barely stomach one of these and it made me not want to drink anymore, congratulations Jeremiah, you win. If it was a boxing match between myself and Jeremiah, he jumped into the ring, punched me in the balls and then left. N/A

Drunk:  I pounded that can as fast as I could to get it finished and had a little buzz but in no way was drunk enough for this to register on the rating scale.  N/A

Jeremiah Weed Roadhouse Tea is disgusting, don't drink it and whatever you do, don't pay $2.79 for a can of it. If you want to try it, drive over to my house and take the can I have sitting in my fridge, it's yours. Try not to puke in my house. Overall score "1.8" and even that seems a too high.