Bud Light Lime

CockTale: The temperature outside was supposed to reach 80 for Mother's Day and my wife recently mentioned that she wanted me to pick up Corona Light or Bud Light Lime from the store on a warm day. Since Corona tastes like piss, I opted for the Bud Light Lime (BLL) and got down to my new pastime of Sunday afternoon drinking. Before you start accusing me of breaking the unwritten drinking rules of Sunday, 1st it was Mother's Day and that counts as a special occasion and 2nd it was 80 degrees out in May and that should be deemed a fricken holiday in the Pacific Northwest. Technically I didn't break the rule of "don't fruit the beer" because the lime flavor was already added and I didn't have to put the lime in there.

Review:
Taste:  I was pretty impressed. I expected the lime flavor to taste fake, like the way a cherry coke doesn't really taste like real cherries. But BLL tastes like someone cut a lime and placed in in your beer and it really does something for the bland taste of regular old Bud Light. "4"
Novelty: If anyone would have asked, I would have said I bought this cause my wife said she wanted it. Then if anyone caught me drinking it I would say that since it was so hot outside I figured I would try it. Then when I got to my 5th one I wouldn't really have any excuses left and would have to admit that I liked it. Not good for the novelty factor when you don't want to admit that you bought it for yourself. Just make sure when you drink it that it's really hot outside or you are screwed. "2"
Drunk: Laid back drunk, best enjoyed in a lawn chair - though take it easy, you would have no problem crushing 10 of these on a hot day because of the lime flavor. "3"
Hangover Factor: Dehydration probably played a large factor, never a good idea to slam a bunch of lime flavored beer on a hot day and ignore water, but shit happens. This was actually the pre-hangover hangover when you start feeling it before you even stop drinking, it sucks. "1.5"
Price: $13.99 for a 12 pack is right in the middle of the mediocre beer wheelhouse, just average price. If it were any more expensive, there is no way I would buy it. "2.5"

Bud Light Lime is basically just a novelty to try a couple times. If I were having a BBQ on a sunny day I might grab a 12 pack and mix them in the cooler with some other beers, maybe take BLL as a partner on a day to float the river or something like that. BLL is like a decently hot chick that you bang a couple times just to try it out, but you ain't gonna marry her. On that note, happy Mother's Day. Overall Score - 2.6

Cooks Champagne

CockTale: There are unwritten rules when it comes to drinking on Sundays. You can just post up on your couch with a 12 pack on a Sunday afternoon and get loaded, you either need to drink sparingly or there needs to be a special occasion or event to justify your alcohol consumption on the sabbath. Having a mimosa or three at Easter brunch - fine, having a sixer of Bud and watching the Nascar race - fine, going to the store on Sunday to get a cheap ass bottle of Cooks Champagne to have 2pm bellinis just cause - frowned upon. I decided to ignore the rules of Sunday drinking and grabbed the cheapest bottle of champagne on Earth, Cooks, and get my Sunday afternoon drink on.....just like the baby Jesus intended.

Review:
Taste: Cooks is the Busch light of champagne, it is what it is. It tastes fine, it isn't good and it isn't terrible. If you are mixing it with orange juice or fruit puree then you just want the alcohol and bubbles anyways, what do you care what it tastes like? If you are drinking it straight on a special occasion, then I hate to tell you that you are probably at a white trash wedding or celebrating New Years Eve with my cheap ass. "2"
Novelty: If you bring a bottle of Cooks to a special occasion be prepared to be laughed out of the room or have a good sense of humor about your inability to buy a nice bottle of champagne. "1"
Price: $5.99 for a bottle is dynamite for what you are getting in return. Can you even buy a six pack for under $6 anymore? "4.5"
Hangover Factor: If you down two bottles of Cooks in a night you are going to feel like shit in the morning, sorry there isn't really anything else to say. Cheap champagne hangover is terrible. "1"
Drunk: Cheap ass drunk. "2.5"

Cooks Champagne does it's job, gets you good and loaded for a discounted price and lets you celebrate....nothing, on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Here's a big middle finger to the unwritten Sunday drinking rules. Overall score - 2.2