Pearl Cucumber Vodka

CockTale: I actually sampled the Pearl Cucumber vodka during our New Years Eve extravaganza. I wouldn’t think the words cucumber and vodka would ever be used in the same sentence, but let me tell you – this is an experience. First of all, there is no smell to this vodka – so all of you functioning alcoholics out there, this is your new go-to drink of choice. The first time I had this vodka, I literally sipped the shot and savored it in my mouth. I had a friend in college that used to gargle with Jose Cuervo in his mouth just to show off (I tried it once and puked), but you could literally do that with cucumber vodka. The only problem with this spirit is that you have no idea what to mix it with, I really think you could just enjoy it on ice.

Review:

Taste: Pearl Cucumber vodka tastes like a cool summer’s evening. I would actually say the smell of the vodka is close to cucumber, but the actual taste is almost more honeydew. This could easily be taken straight, on ice or I mixed it with a little diet Sprite and a lot of ice. Next time I drink it, I might dial it up with a little tonic, lime and mint – almost a fake mojito but with the cucumber base. Pearl Cucumber vodka literally tastes like a mix of cucumber water and honeydew - “5”

Novelty: Nothing special to the bottle itself, they didn’t really do much with it – but then, you remove the wrapper around the top and discover a cork! Yes, this bottle has a frickin’ cork on it. Adds a certain novelty to each time you open the bottle I must say. The other novelty is that this drink is guaranteed to be a hit with the ladies. The guy at the liquor store gave me a “huh, cucumber vodka?” comment when I bought it at 10:30am on a Tuesday, but F him – I’m gonna be a hit with the ladies tonight! Speaking of the liquor store at 10:30am on a Tuesday, if you haven’t ever been in one at that time I recommend you go check it out. Some of the best people watching I have ever seen. Of course, that is probably what the other people said when they saw me buying cucumber vodka at 10:30am on a weekday….. - “4”

Price: $13.95 for a fifth is very reasonable, moderately priced for comparable vodka’s and worth every penny. - “4.5”

Hangover Factor: I have to put Pearl Cucumber Vodka in the “danger zone”. Its smooth taste and drinkability leads to overconsumption very easily. Last night I actually used a shot glass to mix my drinks with because there is no taste to this. If I got a heavy hand and poured myself a stiffy I would never know until the next morning. Had a bit of a headache today, so this rating is based on the danger zone factor alone – “2.5”

Drunk: To characterize Pearl Cucumber Vodka’s drunk, I would go with sustainable. Unlike other booze, you don’t need to switch off this because you get full, or the mixer is too heavy or anything like that. You could easily post up to this bottle all night, mixing it with different partners or taking it down straight.  -“4”

Pearl Cucumber Vodka has earned itself a spot in your liquor cabinet, its versatility and taste make it a little bit of a “ladies” drink, but the idea that a cucumber flavored vodka would be this big of a hit was a big surprise to me. This vodka has earned itself a spot up at the top of the spirits reviewed here at CockTales & Reviews  Overall – “4”